Lol, I almost have 8,000 pageviews and I didn't notice. I wish I hadn't left this account, damn it..

Maybe I'll be a gayfag and use the other account as my "something else" account.. You know.. Be all exclusive and stuff. Ugh, I don't like it when people do that though, and I dont have enough stuff to do it, really..

You know what this is like? Breaking up with a boyfriend because you didn't like a certain tick he had, and then seeing him with another girl and wanting him back. :/ Damn you, old account, you're so sexy to me now I left you behind..

New account.. not much there right now, but anyway:

Stand by for details! Probably won't move my stuff there, don't wanna get rid of all the comments and favs or whatever.. This nickname just went from being funny to being sort of.. crude, haha. So uh, yeah.. Catch y'all on there from now on, I suppose.


Bu kullanici adini sevmedigim icin yeni bir account actim.. Gencken komikti ama simdi biraz ayip geliyor, ve bana uymuyor artik.. Bu accountdaki resimlerimi, cizimlerimi falan burada birakacagim, yeni seylerimi yeni accountuma koyarimmm.. Eurrrghh Turkcem fena kotuuu, haha.. Neyse, whatever

It just makes mood swings so much easier to explain!

Myes.. Well.. Artistic block seems to have partially lifted, which I'm happy about.. I think I just need to start practising actually colouring my pictures.. A lot of the time I just don't have the patience, really :/

All is well in the land of Yas.

I just.. have all this stuff in my head, why the fuck does it never come out properly, you know? The only time I ever WRITE anything worthwhile is if I'm in a complete and utter daze and suddenly, by some miniscule chance, something clicks; or if I'm ranting about something, as I am now.. The chance of the clicking-in-a-daze thing happening is so fucking slim, I feel like I have to push myself to be angry in order to produce anything satisfying and worthwhile.

Why the fuck do I have to be negative to be creative? Why the fuck do I have to have a frown on my face to take myself seriously? All I wanna do is lighten the fuck up, chill out, and still be as artistically intense.. I feel these tingles at my fingertips and wrists and at the front of my brain but all I can produce is the same shit I've scribbled out a million motherfucking times before. A pretty girl. A pretty girl with elf ears. A very similar looking pretty girl with cat ears. A pretty girl with cat ears and half a torso and maybe an attempt at an expression on her face.

And it's not just not being inspired, you know? I feel all this artistic energy going BUZZZZ and have all these ideas, the kind of inspiration I used to feel when I'd draw things I'd be pleased with, but nowadays nothing comes out.. Is it just that deep down I'm actually telling myself I will fail? Am I tricking myself into thinking I'm being positive? What a fucked up thought. Tricking myself into tricking myself. Now that I've thought that, of course, I'll get stuck on it and probably manifest it in some messed up way, even if I pretend I won't. Way to go, brain. I love you sometimes.

So, so many underlying thoughts.. There are like, so many layers.. One positive, one negative, one positive, one negative, and I just have to keep making sure that the one(s) furthest down are positive. And I think they are even now, in my moment of keyboard-burning-typing-rage-and-frustration..

I want my camera to be fixed, I can't even photoshop anything because I don't have a fucking camera.

Just sometimes I feel like I've slipped too far back to grab something solid
Just sometimes I look in my eyes and see myself falling into them so deep that it makes drowning seem like flying
Just sometimes I stop and spin and realise I don't know where the fuck I am
Just sometimes it seems a little too easy to step back and float away from what I can touch
Just sometimes I don't know what the hell is going on
Just sometimes I want to hurt someone and force them to believe it was their fault, even if it wasn't
Just sometimes I feel like crying for attention
Just sometimes I want to break something really expensive
Just sometimes I want to tell people all the bad things I think about them
Just sometimes I feel like letting the person think of these things take over
But most of the time, I'm just fine